So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
