his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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