Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
