Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
