WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
