My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
