A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
