im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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