there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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