so explain again why im purple
no
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize