Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cunextuesday hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

Fav 5 1131 1224
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

(651): View more from Minnesota

again?

Fav 11 1345 5165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

Fav 15 4545 900
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier

Fav 8 2495 4285
share tweet
(830): View more from Texas

Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

Fav 15 1651 4085
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

Fav 8 3993 1120
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

Fav 25 1947 3869
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?

Fav 0 95 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.

Fav 0 16 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT