so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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