i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
