Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
