He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
