proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
