I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
