Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
