last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
