Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
