The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
