I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize