i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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