i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
