porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
