Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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