im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize