Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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