I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize