Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
