i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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