The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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