A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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