i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i will never coherently bang her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
