that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
