how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
