omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
