so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
