Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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