I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
do nipples grow back?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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