I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
