he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
