There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
