how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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