it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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