You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
