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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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• (631): View more from New York

  the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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• (281): View more from Texas

  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

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• (818): View more from California

  Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good news! Blood’s flowing!

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!

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