Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize