Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
