bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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