I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
