so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
