he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My feet surprised me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
