Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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