I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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