how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
