I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
