I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
