I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
