NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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