I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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