Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
