At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize