I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We named our party play list daddy issues
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Randomize