I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
