I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
