k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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