Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
do nipples grow back?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
